Wish You Were Gay

"Baby, I don't feel so good", six words you never understood
"I'll never let you go", five words you'll never say
I laugh along like nothing's wrong, four days has never felt so long
If three's a crowd and two was us, one slipped away

Is there a reason we're not through?
Is there a twelve-step just for you?
Our conversation's all in blue
Eleven "heys"
Ten fingers tearin' out my hair
Nine times you never made it there
I ate alone at seven, you were six minutes away

To spare my pride
To give your lack of interest an explanation
Don't say I'm not your type
Just say that I'm not your preferred sexual orientation
I'm so selfish
But you make me feel helpless, yeah
And I can't stand another day
Stand another day